5 Ways Not to Cook a Turkey on Thanksgiving.

Do you know how to cook a turkey? I thought I did until my first Thanksgiving dinner last year. Between the dry legs, and the burnt giblets (yes, I left the bag inside the bird), dinner was a wreck. Here are five ways to avoid a turkey disaster on Thanksgiving from your thot-full friends at FIVE THôT. 

1). Don’t leave the plastic bag on your bird.

If you leave the wrapping on the bird and turn on the heat, expect a hard crusty covering, and a horrible smell throughout the house.

2). Don’t Deep-fry your Turkey with propane.

Seriously. Unless you’re looking for a fireworks explosion to celebrate the holidays. The turkey and grease will catch fire in seconds, along with your house, and half the neighborhood.

3). Don’t leave the turkey bits inside the turkey.

The giblets from store-bought turkeys are usually packaged up and placed back inside the bird from wench they came. Leaving them inside might cause a beautiful fire from within the turkey and will burn the plastic around them. Note reference to disgusting plastic smell from “don’t” number 2. 

4). Don’t scrub your turkey with cleaning chemicals or bleach.

No, no, no. A water wash down and the heat of the oven is all you need to kill germs. Scrubbing the bird with chemicals could at minimum leave a bad taste in your mouth, or even send some relatives to the emergency room for a stomach pump.

5). Don’t cook your turkey in a microwave or on a radiator.

There is no way you can get the turkey cooked evenly from stem to stern using either of these methods. If you don’t have an oven, buy a pre-cooked bird or find another place to have Thanksgiving dinner.


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