Confessions from a Wing Girl #18: "When to flirt back at work?"

Each week, THE FIVE-STIR brings you "Confessions from a Wing Girl," from Marni Kinrys--a woman who puts her insider knowledge to good use for the betterment of all men by telling them what women REALLY want, not what they say they want.

Marni has worked with 100's of thousands of men all over the world to help them understand women so they can attract, date, seduce and get any woman they want without being a jerk. Her method, The Wing Girl Method, is based on the key principle of "You gotta turn yourself on first before any woman will ever be attracted to you". For more about Marni, click here.



I work at a local café. Every Tuesday a woman comes in for breakfast—steel cut oatmeal and a latte. I find her very attractive, and I get the sense that she’s flirting with me each morning. Even my co-workers have noticed this.  I’d love to ask her out, but there are two problems 1). She always comes in with friends, so I never have a chance to talk with her alone. 2). I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable if she’s not interested in me. I don’t want to lose a good customer, or get myself in trouble with my boss for fraternizing with customers.

Marni, what’s a barista to do?




FLIRT, FLIRT, FLIRT!!!!  Not just with her, but the whole table.  If she comes in there with a  group of friends, you are right, it could be uncomfortable to single her out and ask her on a date.  It doesn’t have to be, but I understand why you may not want to be that direct.

Here are a few tips for you to approach the group:

  1. Show confident body language. Smirk on your face, shoulders down, body loose, stand tall, no crossed arms and walk with confidence.  Open!
  2. When you are talking do not bombard the table with questions. Questions are energy suckers.  Instead, make an observation about the group, the environment or share a story to get them more engaged in you. 
  3. Flirt and talk to the whole table, tease a little and challenge. Win them all over and then slip her a little note asking her out.  Or if you want to be direct, you can ask her for her number but make sure you engage the group as a whole first.

If she says no or “I have a boyfriend”, then do not let it affect you. Smile, tell her that’s a shame, hold strong body language and continue talking to her.  

The only way you’ll lose her as a customer is if you let the situation make you uncomfortable.  Which in turn you will project to her and she will not want to come back as a customer.

So start flirting and if you want to, ask her out.


Interested in more "Confessions from a Wing Girl?" Check out Confessions #1Confessions #2Confessions #3 and more.

Have a question for Marni? Email us and see if The Wing Girl Method might work for you.

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