Each week, THE FIVE-STIR brings you "Confessions from a Wing Girl," from Marni Kinrys--a woman who puts her insider knowledge to good use for the betterment of all men by telling them what women REALLY want, not what they say they want.
Marni has worked with 100's of thousands of men all over the world to help them understand women so they can attract, date, seduce and get any woman they want without being a jerk. Her method, The Wing Girl Method, is based on the key principle of "You gotta turn yourself on first before any woman will ever be attracted to you". For more about Marni, click here.
HERE'S A QUESTION FROM STAN
Jess and I dated for about 6 months last year. Since breaking up, we’ve become pretty good friends. We go out nearly every weekend night together—to the movies, to clubs, and out to dinner. We rarely go out in a group—it is usually just the two of us. It feels like we are still dating, but without the sex. I really like her, and am thinking maybe we shouldn’t have broken up. I’d like to start officially dating her again, but I’m afraid of losing my close friendship with her if she doesn’t feel the same. What should I do?
AND SOME WISE WORDS OF ADVICE FROM MARNI:
Thanks for your email. I can see why you’re struggling to figure out what’s the right thing to do here: on the one hand you don’t want to lose a good friend, but on the other hand it must be frustrating hanging out with a woman like a girlfriend without having any sexual intimacy.
If I’m honest though, the real problem here is that you don’t know where you stand. You’re giving up the majority of your social time, thoughts and dating energy to a woman who you have no guarantees of being in a relationship with.
This may sound harsh: but it sounds like you’re not getting a fair deal here.
Jess gets to enjoy your company as if you were a boyfriend, without committing anything to you. On the other hand, you’re currently being stopped from meeting someone new because you spend all your time and energy focused on her.
Of course, I could be wrong and Jess may be waiting on you to tell her that you want to kick things back up a notch again. But you won’t know until you ask, well state, how you want the relationship to be.
In a totally cool and calm way, the next time you’re alone together, having fun tell her: “It’s always great hanging out with you, but I want something more. In fact I’d like to be with you: not how we used to be, but better, happier, and stronger.”
Being totally direct about what you want is sexy and honest. Women tend to respond really well when you communicate with them this way; so hopefully she’ll feel the same and you’ll be able to take things from there.
I know what you’re thinking though, ‘what if she rejects me and just wants to be friends?’
Well, you know what? That’s ok too. Be cool with her, accept it and keep her in your life as a friend. BUT use this clarification on where you stand to give you the push you need to go out there and meet other women; because if Jess doesn’t want to be your girlfriend, I’m sure there are a ton of other girls out there who would love to meet a guy like you.
Have a question for Marni? Email us and see if The Wing Girl Method might work for you.