Confessions From A Wing Girl #41: Texting "Hey" Isn't Flirty or Fun.

Each week, FIVE THôT brings you "Confessions from a Wing Girl," from Marni Kinrys--a woman who puts her insider knowledge to good use for the betterment of all men by telling them what women REALLY want, not what they say they want.

Marni has worked with 100's of thousands of men all over the world to help them understand women so they can attract, date, seduce and get any woman they want without being a jerk. Her method, The Wing Girl Method, is based on the key principle of "You gotta turn yourself on first before any woman will ever be attracted to you". For more about Marni, click here.

Hi Marni,

My first question is on how to follow up with girls I've just met out at the bars:

If there was an indication of interest in hanging out in the future, what is the best way of going about pursuing that? Timing (as in space between conversations)? Text vs. call? Casual vs. very direct? Type of Venue/activity?

I am currently hesitant to reach out to girls I've met while out, who gave me their phone numbers, but with whom I didn't make solid plans before leaving. I've been having trouble with this in the past, so either I was not interesting enough at the point of meeting or I was screwing it up in the process of trying to see them again, and I understand that girls may give out their numbers just to avoid conflict. 

Also, what are some signs that I should stop texting? Because sometimes it is hard to gauge level of interest in this form. 

I am in my early twenties and live in a college town/city. Thanks!


Hey Grant,

The first answer is TEXT.  If you are in your early 20's then that is an acceptable way to communicate. Know that if you were older, I would have said phone.

Honestly, you can text a woman that night right after she gives you her number just to be cute. There is no set time, but I would say as a general rule wait for the weekend to finish and get back into your week and then initiate with a text. But text with purpose. So no "hey" texts.  Text because you have something interesting to say. 

What you want to do with your text is bring her back to that same level of excitement she felt when you guys first met. Playful, flirty and fun.  "Hey" isn't playful flirty or fun. 

Then after a couple of texts back and forth, ask for what you want.  But remember, if you have limited time, you can totally ask her out in the first text but be clear, direct and ask for it. 


Have a question for Marni? Email us and see if The Wing Girl Method might work for you.

Interested in more "Confessions from a Wing Girl?" Check out Confessions #1Confessions #2Confessions #3 and more.
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