Confessions from a Wing Girl #1: "When Should A Guy Approach A Woman?"

Each week, THE FIVE brings you "Confessions from a Wing Girl," from Marni Kinrys--a woman who puts her insider knowledge to good use for the betterment of all men by telling them what women REALLY want, not what they say they want.

Marni has worked with 100's of thousands of men all over the world to help them understand women so they can attract, date, seduce and get any woman they want without being a jerk. Her method, The Wing Girl Method, is based on the key principle of "You gotta turn yourself on first before any woman will ever be attracted to you". For more about Marni, click here.

A QUESTION FROM IAN

Marni,

Late last night, I went grocery shopping.  Upon going to checkout I saw this woman that I was extremely attracted to.

While we checked out I decided to take a different path to my car only to find out that she was parked near me.  She was wearing biking gear and had a bike in the back of her truck. I think this intimidated me a little because I did not approach her. Reason being, I really thought I would be bothering her.  I do this all the time and want to stop wasting great opportunities.

So my question to you is, when can I approach a woman?  

Ian

 

AND SOME WISE WORDS FROM MARNI

Ian,

The short answer to your question is ALWAYS. If you see a woman you want, approach her. Delay or linger and you can easily become the creepy guy seemingly gawking from behind the Doritos display.

Remember, it’s about you first, her second.

It sounds like there is a lot of pressure on your approaches and you may be thinking large picture instead of small picture.

Large Picture: I’m going to approach this girl, she is going to be attracted to me, I’m going to get her number, we are going to date, have sex… The whole shebang!

That’s a lot to put on an approach.  Try drilling it back a little to a smaller picture.  Small picture (or intentions) are more realistic.  Plus, they are far less emotionally charged which makes them easier to accomplish.

Small Picture: That girl is cute, I want to talk to her and see if I like her. 

Having the small picture in mind before any approaches will make it a lot easier on you. If you don’t attach a large picture outcome to your actions, then you will not feel as much pressure to succeed.

I want to comment on one more thing you said in your email where you said you thought you would be bothering her.  I hear these “assumptions” from the men I work with all the time. 

Below are some of the assumptions I am constantly hearing from men.

Assumptions gone wrong:

- She's not my type

- She won't be into me

- I'm too short for her

- I'm too fat/bald/skinny for her

- She probably has a boyfriend

- She's busy right now

- She doesn’t want to be bothered

- She's with her friends and doesn't want to be interrupted

It’s very interesting that these men know so much about a woman they have never spoken to before. Which leads me to the conclusion, that men are mind readers and I know for certain that is not true.

These assumptions are really just fears disguised as intelligent justifications. These are what I like to call conceived truths that stop us from getting what we want. 

Please do not fall victim.  Approach every woman that peaks your interest and decide what category you want to put her in after you have some facts to base it on :-)

Marni 

Have a question for Marni? Email us and see if the Wing Girl Method might work for you.

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