Confessions from a Wing Girl #73: When is Flirting a Problem in a Relationship?

Marni Kinrys has worked with 100's of thousands of men all over the world to help them understand women so they can attract, date, seduce and get any woman they want without being a jerk. Her method, The Wing Girl Method, is based on the key principle of "You gotta turn yourself on first before any woman will ever be attracted to you". For more about Marni, click here. For more "Confessions from a Wing Girl," click here.

A Question for Marni

Hey Marni,

One thing I liked about my last girlfriend was the respect she had for me.  Now she was a very insecure person so her "respect" was probably more of a "I don't wanna piss him off so he doesn't leave me" type of thing.  Not that I hadn't done more than my fair share to earn her respect but even still, I know she walked on egg shells around me.  So my question is, how do I earn a woman's respect without being a meat headed bully (like I see and hear some guys being)?  I don't want to come off as an asshole but I also want my woman to respect me.  Thanks. 


Marni’s Response

Hi Alex,

Seems like you're not an A-hole. Did you treat this girl poorly so that she would need to walk on egg shells? Sounds like this was her issue, not yours. 

I don't think yo have anything to worry about. You are conscious not to be a jerk, so you won't b eif you don't want to be. 

-- Marni 

Alex’s Response


I treated her very well.  I treated her with respect.  Like I said before, she walked on eggshells because she "couldn't live without me" and we barely knew each other so there you go.

Quick question:  In the future, if I do have a girlfriend who has a flirting problem, what do I do if she disagrees with the fact that she's flirting?  What if she says she was being friendly and that I was overreacting?  I know what I saw and it was flirting but what if the girl adamantly disagrees with me and says she wasn't?

And a final word from Marni


I'm going to be honest with you, this is a tough one for me because I'm that girl who flirts for fun. I flirt with EVERYONE. Not in a sexual way. But in an open, friendly way. When my husband and I first got together, this was a problem for him and it was definitely NOT a problem for me.  

I saw myself as open and free and I was very careful about what I put out there to others. In my head everything was very innocent BUT because he was not an open, flirty person with everyone it was very foreign to him. He tried to stop me for a bit and I saw this as him telling me not to be me. NO GOOD. 

Once we sat down and I explained my values to him about how important being open and loving to everyone was he got a better understanding of where I was coming.  I also listened to him explain his POV and values.  From that point on I was more aware of my actions and toned them down a smidge and he loosed up a lot and was okay with me being open. Had he not been, it would have been the end of our relationship.  

Ones mans flirting is another mans friendliness, so figure out who your girlfriend is first before you start to blame her for negative behavior ;-0



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