I’ve often heard the stories of guys boasting how they make women scream in sexual pleasure. “Yes, yes,” “No, don’t stop,” moan, moan, yell, yell, squeal, squeal—you get the picture.
But what about the guys? The fact is that guys make a lot of noise during sex too, but will rarely admit to it. There seems to be a bit of social impotence around acknowledging that guys can be screamers too. But I’m here to tell you dudes, it is OK to be a moaner, a talker, and a screamer during sex…and admit it the next day to your friends. Come join us in the post-macho world, and own up to your proclivity to be vocal under the sheets.
The idea for this column came to me the other day when I was talking to my Corey after work. He was telling me how he had been flirting with this girl for some time, but hadn’t yet made it to the bedroom. There was clear sexual chemistry between the two, but he hadn’t yet made the move.
Why, I asked?
“I tend to be pretty loud during sex,” he said. “And, I don’t want to scare her roommates or piss-off mine. We just haven’t found a safe place to have loud sex.”
I was taken aback by how open my buddy was. It dawned on me that I had never met a dude who acknowledged that he was loud in bed. It didn’t surprise me that he was vocal during sex—after all, I know I have that habit as well—but what was surprising was that he admitted it to another guy.
In fact, talking about sex in anything but boastful tones is still somewhat of a rarity among guys. We don’t talk much about how we behave during sex, other than to say things like “I’ve never had any complaints,” or “yah, I’ve been told I’m pretty talented,” or “we didn’t get out of bed all weekend.”
It is only the guys who live in the post-macho world that share some of the more intimate, and what would be considered less-masculine moves that happen during sex—“I like it when she’s on top,” or “sometimes I like to be tied down,” or “kissing can be sexier than sex,” or…”I can be pretty loud during sex.”
You see, we still hang-on to the vestige of masculinity that says the man must always be in charge, and never lose control, even while being sexually pleasured.
But I say it is time to break free from that silly macho attribute. Come on guys, admit that it is fun to lose control. Admit it to yourself (and do it), and then admit it to your friends (and share it).
“My name is Jack, and I like to moan in pleasure during sex.”
There, I said it. Now it is your turn.
In my unscientific poll of friends (mostly women who are sharing their boyfriends secrets) and in my obsession with porn, I’ve uncovered there are three types of vocal behaviors of guys during sex. I believe that all guys fall into one or more of these categories. It’s up to you to self-identify as one (or more) of them, and then own it, baby.
The Ecstasy Man: You’re a moaner and a screamer. With each thrust you send out a guttural moan—matching the rhythm of the action. And, when you climax, the walls might shake. Moans might also be light squeals of pleasure (in the same rhythmic pattern) or be a mix of moans and words (see the conversationalist).
The Conversationalist: You like to talk during sex. The conversation can be one-way, or back-and-forth. One-way talkers might say things like, “yah baby that’s it,” or “that feels good,” or “keep it up, baby.” Two-way conversations are question and answer sessions, “Do you like that?,” “Do you like it rough (slow, to be spanked, etc.)?” or “Want me to keep going?”
The Sexual Ninja: You’re the silent type. You don’t talk or moan during sex, but you thoroughly enjoy when your partner does. “I’m like a sexual ninja. I make my moves silently, and know what will make them squeal.”
Which one are you? Or are you all of the above depending on your mood-and your partner?